Haunting Reminisces
by AugustClouds
Summary: He was so blind, to be so dejectedly lost in his hopeless emotions,to not notice all the love she had given him all along. Since his brother was gone, he held the same blank, emotionless shell surrounding his heart, harboring any deep feelings insideAlxOC


A/N: This is my first fanfiction, It's slightly AU however, a different ending from the anime and Alphonse has his original body and he lives in Risembool with another girl, whose name you can imagine :) anyway i look forward to reviews and any critism, enjoy!

Disclaimer: FullMetal Alchemist is sadly not mine.

Read & Review please x

Haunting Remininces

'I'm going out for a walk, be back soon, love Al'

She knew it was one of those days, where Al's mind wandered immensely to the point where his persistent thoughts strayed into agonizing, painful, unforgotten memories. It was accustomed that at these rare times Al would go for a walk to think things out, reason with his perplexed feelings.

It was something that she had grown used to; it had been like this ever since they met.

The thing is, she couldn't figure out why. Was Al condemned to these nightmares if not just at night but also by day? Her mind drifted back to the first time she had experienced Al in his troubled state.

'_Al…'_

_She stared at him confused, as he sat motionless on the grass, his silver eyes staring straight ahead in a trance like condition. She watched curiously as his fixed gazed never wavered the slightest bit, though seemingly showing flashes of different emotions, they seemed to go from soft, to determined, to angry then finally to a hint of sadness, and maybe even regret. _

_Whatever it was that he was deep in thought about, it seemed to bother him, intensely._

_Something wet prickled her cheek and she brought her hand automatically to it, realizing that it had dropped from above. She raised her eyes towards the darkening sky, watching the dark swirl of clouds form as more and more raindrops pelted down._

_She contemplated on whether to warn him about the rain but decided against it as she witnessed his pupils dilating, almost in a somewhat shape of fear. Then in a sudden instance his weary eyes were back to their blank, emotionless state._

_She stood there watching him for hours afterwards, intrigued and yet worried about his unusual behaviour, both of them not realizing that it had started to pour._

What was it about Al's past that held unforgivable reminiscences that kept resurfacing to haunt him?

_---_

_I… I see him again… brother, why are you-_

_He's fading, the cruel sensation of guilt burning through my skull, the forced recollections of him, taunting me, reminding me of what I have lost, what I will never gain._

_Flashing what I failed to obtain_

_And it's happening, all over again, the same haunting memories._

_Our childhood, our laughter, your smile, my happiness_

_Mother… regret, hurt, pain…_

_Blades, Guns, Spears… revenge, sorrow, sadness_

_Blood and Sweat…anger, hatred, loss,_

_Death… nothing…_

…_Brother?_

_---_

'Where is he?' she muttered silently, frustrated creases forming on her forehead as she paced wearily down the field, hoping to find him soon.

The one place that she had yet to check was the river. Its gentle flow and serene air calmed her, she breathed in the fresh grass, savoring the intake of the minty scent as she neared the smooth natural embankments. The moist soil was comforting, soothing her tired feet. It was no surprise that she should find him here; after all, this place was a harbinger of peace, an entity of tranquility.

Looking down, she noticed the faint outlines of shoes stamped neatly into the earth, the mud freshly marked on. She followed them, relieved of the search, until she found him, sitting quietly with a familiar motionlessness, near the edge of the river, staring distantly into the sunset. His legs rested unceremoniously in front of him and his hands were placed behind his back, supporting him. He had that far away look in his big silver eyes, glinting off the reflection of the sun.

She slowly made her way towards him, in attempt to not startle him, although it was notorious that he would never flinch in this state, much less react in any manner. Everything around him seemed to dissolve as he was too consumed in his void of thoughts. These memories seemed to devoir him endlessly.

Gently, she sat down next to him; close enough to feel the comforting heat his body emitted, to hear the soft rhythm of his breathing, to almost feel the slight pounding of his heart. Relaxing, she gazed into the remarkable view before her. It had to be one of the world's blessings, to witness this harmonious, breath-taking ritual.

The scarlet sun fell beyond the glistening river, lighting the azure water with dazzling hues of gold and crimson. It was like something out of a vibrant dream.

She turned to face Al, he seemed finally aware of her undying presence. She comfortingly reached for his hand as her face softened, a steady flow of tears streaming down his cheeks.

_---_

_I smell it. I smell the strong scent of pure fear. It's intoxicating my lungs, clogging my heart, overpowering control of my system._

_And I'm helpless about it._

_I'm at the battlefield, the stench of rotten bodies, the shrieks of innocent victims, the sound of blaring merciless weapons. I hear the familiar footsteps emerge behind me._

'_Al?'_

_I freeze, momentarily shocked at the recognizable tune of the voice. I open my eyes for the first time, the light flooding in relentlessly, and my sight taking awhile to adjust. I'm staring up at him. There's no doubt that it is him, the same mischievous grin plastered on his face, his golden blonde hair waving obstinately in the wind, and that same determined look in his wide golden eyes. Despite the surrounding destruction and calamity, he remained undeniably calm._

'_B-Brother? I-is that… you?' I questioned disbelievingly, but the lucid image of my brother just frowned and replied,_

'_Uhh… Yeah? Really Al, we have to stay focused, there's no time for napping on the floor, we're in the middle of a battlefield, for god sakes, what's gotten into you?' he scolded, nevertheless helping me up_

'_Sorry…' I mumbled apologetically, I couldn't help holding on to his hand a little bit longer than I should have, though I had no idea why, receiving a slightly puzzled look from my brother which was quickly brushed off as he continued,_

'_Come on, we have to find the Fuhrer, We kill him, we end this massacre for good.' My brother spoke, willpower burned strongly through his fiery eyes._

'_Okay…' I agreed reluctantly, obeying my brother's commands as I followed him deeper into the war._

_We reached a large fort, after dodging many bullets and arrows and cautiously making sure to not tread on any mine bombs. My brother's quick and deft movements brought us here in a matter of minutes. I stared up into the overshadowing walls before us; I knew they were armed with many soldiers awaiting our arrival._

_My brother wasted no time deceiving the guards and running fearlessly into his impending fate. I followed him unwillingly, fighting off many soldiers and avoiding booby traps along the way. I was now sweating profusely and beginning to tire, my energy draining. I could see my brother starting to suffer from slight fatigue but still standing strong, we knew it was time to face the Fuhrer, a battle that we needed to strive to win. _

_I glanced at the beckoning metal doors in front of us. It's hell bent design embedded itself in my mind. My brother took a deep breath, and then began to push open the heavy doors. _

'_Why if it isn't Brigadier General Edward' came a malicious voice, echoing malevolently._

'_Show yourself, Fuhrer!' Brother replied, demandingly as he readied himself with his sharp metal blade. _

_A sudden arrow stuck him painfully on his shoulder, and he fell to the ground, clutching it in agony. The blood began to seep through his fingers as I rushed towards him, terrified. Still, as valiant as ever, he refused to be weakened because of that._

'_It's okay Al, I'm fine' were his last reassuring words to me before he raced off into battle._

_The thing is, everything wasn't fine._

_I fought side by side with my brother, although despite my efforts to retain any injuries, I was knocked unconscious against the wall, after being flung severely by the Fuhrer's mighty metal hand. I felt the darkness overwhelm me, but I knew I had to keep awake, so I forced myself to watch the horrifying battle unfold before me._

_Brother runs towards him, attempting to slice the Fuhrer's weapon but the Fuhrer retaliates, dodging his upcoming stab and heartlessly kicking him to the floor. The Fuhrer plunges his foot onto brother's heart, and chuckles in delight at his attempts to squirm away, the increasing lack of oxygen weakening him._

'_Any last requests Edward?' he asks evilly, smiling as brother winces in pain._

'_J-just…L-let …h-him…go' Brother pleads feebly, his gaze fixed upon me, a look of apology in his fading golden eyes._

_My head was throbbing but I knew the bitter reality of the situation, I pathetically attempted to get up, pushing as hard as I could to stand, my eyes fixed solely on saving my brother._

'_As you wish' The Fuhrer replied, lowering the blade towards my brother's heart._

'_No!' I screamed, at the contingency of the moment, my brother couldn't die, he just couldn't…_

'_What is it, little brother? I am already sparing your life for his, do not interfere any longer if you wish to live.' The Fuhrer replied emotionless._

'_Please- please don't kill him' I begged frantically, my tired eyes began to rush with tears._

'_Why not? Wouldn't you love to see him punished for all the hurt he put you through?' the Fuhrer asked ruthlessly._

'_No! I would never! Don't kill him, he doesn't deserve to die, I love him, please…He… He's the only brother I have!' I answered devoid of pain._

_I watched the Fuhrer snicker cruelly, smirking, before plunging the blade straight through my brother's heart. I watched the life fade from his dull eyes and his pupils blur. I watched his chest stop rising, his body stop squirming, his arms drop lifelessly to his side, the blood spurted out from his arteries, drenching me in a thick, crimson, liquid but I didn't care, I ran over to him, watching him gasp for air, one last time before he was gone._

'_I love you… Al' he whispered, and then smiled before giving in to death._

_I placed my hand on his cheek as the warmth left his body and a cold, callous, feeling replaced it instead. I was controverting my brothers' death, but as much as I tried, I knew he was dead. I didn't realize my cheeks were soaking wet, mixed with blood, sweat and tears._

'_No…' I whimpered uselessly. I got up to face the Fuhrer, the man's eyes were shining with pure content and in that moment, I hated him. The surge of revenge channeled up my spine and I clenched my fists, determined to end this bastard's life._

_With the utmost of my contempt, I took out a gun that had belonged to my father and shot all the bullets straight into King Bradley's heart. He fell to the floor stunned, still smiling._

'_W-well… D-done Alphonse' he croaked before spluttering blood, letting death overwhelm him._

_My hand shook violently with the fact that I had succumbed to my revenge and bestowed death upon someone, even if it was the Fuhrer but I didn't care, I was too inundated with my lifeless brother that lay motionless on the blood strewn floor._

Al felt a warm hand jerk him back into reality.

'Alphonse?' a concerned voice sounded from beside him.

Startled at the dampness of his cheeks he reached up and gently stroked them; he had not realized until that moment, that he had been crying.

_How pathetic it was to cry like this._ He thought, mentally cursing himself.

Embarrassed he turned to face her; she had that loving look on her face, the one that showed understanding and care. He flushed even deeper; his cheeks tainted a darker pink.

'I'm sorry…' he offered awkwardly, sighing at his lack of control over his emotions.

'It's okay to cry Alphonse, especially if it hurts you deep inside.' She replied calmly, embracing him in a warm hug.

The tears escaped, falling endlessly in a silent confession.

_---_

She held on to him tightly, offering comfort and condolence, wishing that all his pain would transfer to her, let all his burdens remain on her shoulders, and all his heartache evaporate.

Why did they haunt him, when he deserved to be happy?

Alphonse was a person with all the good human attributes. He was always the reasonable one, the soul who gave everything but expected nothing. He was like an angel, with a heart of kindness, a sense of care, a touch of gentleness and a personality of sweetness. There was not one person that didn't enjoy being around him; his presence could make everyone smile.

What fate has destined upon him the punishment he must receive to atone for the sins of his horrific past?

He was just a child back then.

Even though she was clueless about everything, she knew that Al only reminisced on pain. The way he would freeze in a moment of remembrance or the way he would mumble restlessly in his sleep. It was as if his soul was detachable, always isolated from reality. A vivid memory flooded back into her mind.

'_Al… what are you doing up? It's three in the morning' she questioned, rubbing her tired eyes and looking at him wearily before her._

_He had dark circles under his eyes, a result of his lack of sleep. His exhausted eyes stared silently into the midst of the vacant night sky. There were no stars tonight, none of the beautiful stars that Alphonse loved to stare up at. It was just an abyss of darkness, a proverbial blankness in contrast to Al's expression. She could see he was deeply engulfed in his thoughts, again._

'_Nightmare?' she questioned softly, reaching out to touch the translucent, almost ghostly like form._

_He looked so pale, so fragile…_

'_Yeah…' he replied quietly, bowing his head in shame._

'_Its okay… I'm here' she reassured him, gently squeezing his hand in hers and turning to stare out with him into the shadowy darkness on the night._

A mild breeze rustled a few fallen leaves that were scattered nearby. She glanced up, noticing the dark clouds that now coated the darkening sky. She felt the light drizzle of rain on her bare skin gradually getting heavier and heavier.

Reluctantly, she let go of him; his eyes were red, sore with anguish and sorrow. She got up slowly, brushing herself off, before reaching out for his hand to help him up. She was surprised when his shoulders tensed as he glared at her hand, stunned into silence.

Looking up at her astonished wide brown eyes, he saw instead determined golden ones smiling down at him.

That one simple gesture had reminded him of his brother.

Then she saw him relax, a smile forming on his lips. It was a loving smile, filled with such gratitude and sincerity.

She smiled back at him, the same warm, loving, smile mirroring his.

Both of them lost in the moment of compassion, as the rain began to pour.

_---_

He took her soft hand in his, receiving a tingling feeling as his hand made contact with hers. Although he was standing now, he never let go of her hand.

How come no one has told her she was beautiful? The way her messy brown hair dripped wet and the way her eyes conjured impulsive emotions. The way that every time she smiled, he felt a slight tug at his heart.

She loved him; he knew it from the way she looked at him…

He was so blind, to be so dejectedly lost in his hopeless emotions, to not notice all the love she had given him all along. Since his brother was gone, he held the same blank, emotionless shell surrounding his heart, harboring any deep feelings inside, refusing to let anything else get inside his vulnerable soul.

Since Edward had died, he had not been able to feel.

_---_

_I love him… _

_Everything about him, the way his honey brown hair shines through the rain, the way his soft gray eyes stare down at me._

_The way he mixes in three different cereals together before adding milk, the way he drinks his coffee black, the way he always reads the news section of the newspaper, never bothering to read anything else, the way he'd always check the time on the same engraved pocket watch every single morning, the way he'd stop at the sight of a small abandoned kitten, rescue it especially during the rain and bring it home, feed it and nurse it into health before finding a home for it. _

_He's perfect, in every way_

_I just wish he'd love me too…_

_---_

'Al… I love you…' she whispered softly, the gentle melody of her voice enraptured him as her big expressive eyes stared affectionately into his own unique beautiful grey ones.

He wrapped his arms delicately around her waist, willing to never let go of this moment of pure bliss. He bent his head slightly so that he could taste her breath, feel the warmth of it on his skin, and smell its untainted sweetness as it tingled in his mouth.

Slowly, carefully, he slipped his mouth over hers, the hot sensation of her burning down his throat, as he tenderly, passionately kissed her deeply, with all his heart, with all his soul.

In that moment, he was thankful he could feel, especially when this feeling was love.

'I love you too, sweetheart, I love you too…' he murmured gently into her ear.

And in that moment Alphonse had never felt happier than he did after his brother had died.

It was as if all the weight had been lifted off of him, that he was entitled to feel again.

That he saw less need to reminisce on pain any longer.

_---_


End file.
